Dancing on my own

The release and healing a solo boogie will bring

I love dancing and I try to do it at every opportunity. Which, when I think about it, actually isn’t all that much. Weddings, house parties and festivals. That’s about it. Which is a shame really.

Our ancestors would have danced much more than we do. At every social gathering. Dancing in circles. Outdoors around a fire. They danced to worship the sun, the moon and the land. They would have been dancing all last week welcoming the Spring Equinox.

I decided I wanted to dance more. I began in earnest about a year and a half ago when I moved into an apartment alone. For someone who loves to dance, I had to make myself dance. It became a practice. In the same way that I need to be disciplined with yoga and meditation. I became disciplined with my solo bops. Especially in the last week during this self-isloation.

Partly, because I’ve more time but also I have bucket loads of energy. I’m at the height of ‘inner summer’ in my menstrual cycle (typically day 12-19 but it varies for us all). I’m at ovulation stage, inner summer time energy is gushing through my body. I’m feeling fun and flirty. I want to be sociable and interactive. I feel like mingling and chatting. At this time of my cycle, the outside world is so appealing. Anything is possible and people are enchanting to me.

But I have to stay inside. I can feel this polarity and opposition in my body. There’s an anxious energy in my shoulders. Even as I type here, I am typing with speed. Creativity, life force is literally bubbling inside me. It needs an outlet.

Sometimes that outlet can get blocked. By self-isolation. But also pre-Corona, life force can get blocked by self-sabotage, limiting self-beliefs, self-consciousness, shame, peer opinions, society norms and over-working (I could go on). And so often we don’t have an outlet to express our divine life force. Sitting in front of a screen all day does not provide a decent outlet.

This is where The Dance comes in. Capitalised in reverence. For me it is like removing a stone that is blocking up a stream. It’s a bit of an effort at first. I don’t really feel like dancing and it’s hard to get going. I’ll decide that I need to dance but then distract myself. Look at my phone. Watch other people’s activity and avoid my own. But the life force stream is there and it’s welling up.

Knowing what stage I am at in my cycle helps a lot. At other times in my cycle it might be rest that is calling to me. But I am tuning into my cycle, and I know that this is pure, sheer energy and vitality that is churning inside me. It is energy that wants to play. And if I ignore it, it will get lost and trapped in my body causing stress, tension and a jittery anxious feeling.

Let it out. Let it shake. It doesn’t matter what the hell it looks like. Even if you are blasting music and just moving your head left and right. The stream does not mind how you move the rock, as long as you move the thing. In my experience, the starting part is difficult and the beginning is awkward. Much like many things in life.

In the morning is when I usually dance. I don’t really feel like it at the beginning. I often feel rushed, other things on my mind. Like I’m hungry, I need to make breakfast. I don’t have enough time. Or I pick up my phone. All classic avoidance tools.

With over a year’s experience, I know now the trick to get me going. Put on a belter. You will have your own favourite belters, and you might consider mine the opposite of what you consider a belter. Faith Hill or Bob Marley might not be what gets you bopping. But you have your own song. A tune that is so familiar to you that you know it on first beat. The music vibration that hits your body perfectly and simmers through you. The melody that stirs up memories and emotions. The song you blast in the car when you hear it on the radio. You most likely know all the lyrics. This is what will get you going.

The first beats of your song will bring an instant hit of euphoria. You might jump up to dance. The euphoria will fade away, as instant hits always do, and you are left with lots of tiny decisions to make. What will to do with your hands, where will your feet go. Keep making those decisions. Repeat basic movement until you are moved by inspiration.

I know this hesitant phase well. I persevere; making repetitive, familiar moves. The song has usually finished by now. So I play it again.

Now I know what to expect, where the key changes are. And my body is feeling a little more free and loose. I start to take risks and my movements become more expansive. And then without noticing, I am dancing. Dancing full throttle. I’m moving and flowing without thinking.

My body is in complete control, it is doing what it wants and what feels good. There is no more mind interaction. No more bemusing whether a move is acceptable or whether it matched the step before. My body is moving in the most expressive and free way it knows how. I am experiencing ultimate freedom. And that is when the body releases tension. When it releases stress. When it begins to fully let go.

This is when we can feel life force flow through us. This is when we are experiencing what we are here to experience.

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If you feel inspired or moved by these words, it is time to dance. Maybe you already do solo bops and you might be nodding in agreement with some of the things I’ve said. Either of these temperaments are a sure sign that your body is nudging you to dance, to move freely, to let go. Let me know if you go for a bop in the comments. I’d love to hear about your favourite dancing bangers so I can add them to my playlist.